I think most people remember their realization that landmark days occur as simply another moment in time. Whether it’s a birthday, vacation, or a wedding day, even the most anticipated events are experienced through the lens of our same ol’ brains and bodies that we inhabit our entire lives.
Sometimes these events are everything we hoped they’d be. But more often than not there is a twinge of disappointment as we recognize there’s no magic inherent to our external circumstances. We’ll have to experience this moment the same way we’d experience any other: as ourselves.
Is that depressing? Yes and no. Yes, because as the old adage goes, wherever you go there you are. And no, because so much about life is about how we show up for it and what we decide to inhabit. Some of life’s most surprising, sweet, and indelible moments come unexpectedly. And the big events that require dreaming and planning? We must still decide to be present when that big day comes around.
It’s because I believe all of this to be true that I was so surprised when April immediately marked a shift for me.
It was Friday. The fools jokes rolled in hot on my social media feed. I had the full day dedicated to art and writing. It was another surprisingly sunny day, given that my app had predicted a week full of overcast weather. The snow had nearly all melted in my yard – early break up, no complaints here.
It was the final day of a fundraiser to help prepare me for the Mobile Art Studio inaugural journey later on in the month, and I was really pleased with the results. So many people chipped in! It helped ease my fears about going on an epic road trip at a time when diesel costs one million dollars a gallon. It also helped take the sting out of an unexpected maintenance bill to get our new (to us) F350 road-ready.
April 1st felt like a click. It felt like an actual turning point, not just an arbitrary paging of the wall calendar. Here was a month I’d vaguely thought about and pointed to for a long time in getting ready for the Mobile Art Studio, and it dawned sunny and springlike, practically inviting me in. My task list still felt daunting, but I felt that I’d actually crested a hill and was starting to cruise toward my goal with greater momentum. I felt buoyed and optimistic; open.
So, I’m going to decide to keep that going. If arbitrary but significant life moments are what we make of them, which I do truly believe, then I’m going to take the feeling provided me to start this pivotal month in my life and enjoy/expand on it. This time of life is about bringing something to life, myself included. It’s about focusing on where I want to go, and fully feeling it both along the way and in those moments of “arrival” that aren’t, really, ever – as long as life keeps moving on.